


T is for Trauma

by B_oys_do_c_ry



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29001795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_oys_do_c_ry/pseuds/B_oys_do_c_ry
Summary: Post Yondu's death, the entire situation had brought your past experiences to light. Noticing your apparent off-nature, Gamora decides to confront you about it.
Relationships: Gamora (Marvel) & Reader, Gamora (Marvel)/Reader
Kudos: 5





	T is for Trauma

Having to save Quill’s ass from his psycho of a dad wasn’t really on your list of to-do’s, well, neither was having to save your own ass from a pack of Ravagers, but you took what you could get.

Encountering the true nature of Ego and his intentions on taking over the Universe, the connection with Yondu, then the loss of Yondu… had taken a great toll on the Guardians. Peter especially. Everyone knew to take it easy on him for the time being, besides that you and the others kept to yourselves mostly.

It’d been about two days since you turned Yondu into stardust, and everybody was slowly collecting themselves from the previous traumatic event that took place. Quill seemed to be trying to keep himself on his feet, setting his mind on his work as his way of avoiding any means of being left with his demons.

You would’ve said that his coping mechanism wouldn’t have been the best way to go about it, but Gamora has been keeping him in check, so your initial thought was to leave it be. Knowing that he wasn’t dealing with it all on his own was probably the only reassurance you could really take.

Notwithstanding this, all of the fatherly energy that had infested the air recently has taken its effect on you, hitting fairly close to home. Yet you had no intention on talking your way through it with any of the guys. You already felt guilty for feeling bad when you had no place to, you didn’t need any of the other’s clarifying that also.

Despite your efforts at hiding your discomfort, you weren’t totally successful, as Gamora had already noticed something about you was particularly off. She had kept a keen eye on you the entire day, watching to see if your mood would shift in a short time. Gamora wasn’t one to pry. However, today she decided to take a different approach.

As the evening was drawing nearer, the Guardians had settled down to enjoy Drax’s cooking, but since you hadn’t stopped off for supplies for the past fortnight, there wasn’t really much to ‘enjoy’. Chowing down what you had left, you said your thanks and made way to the Benatar’s cockpit.

You ambled up to the front windshield, stood, examining the stars that sparkled in view. Your mind wandered to the blue Centaurian, and how he managed to redeem himself in defiance of how he had treated Quill in his years of youth. After everything he had done, after all the stories you had been told, he came through as a great father figure in the end before his unfortunate passing. He became a Guardian. A part of you wished that everyone would just grow up the way he did…

Out of your line of sight, Gamora had followed your tail and joined you by your side, taking a moment to follow your gaze.

Cutting through the now growing awkward silence, Gamora cleared her throat, her stare still fixed on the window. “How’re you doing?”

You took a swift glance at her features before letting out a tiny 'alright’ and settling yourself down on the nearest step, slouching down and leaning your elbows on your knees. Gamora soon followed your suit.

Any other day, Gamora would have let your comment slide, but her maternal instincts were telling her the air needed to be cleared, one way or another. She was already having to deal with Peter’s grief, she wasn’t going to have another struggling teammate on her conscience.

“Are you sure?”

This sent a twang in your heart-strings, the ball in your chest increasingly tightened. You hung your head down momentarily, keeping your breath at a steady pace as you felt a wave of sadness wash over you. You rested your forehead in the palm of your hand with your eyes clamped shut to keep the waterworks from bursting through.

Hearing the first sniffle from your button nose, Gamora had found her answer and carefully brought a green hand up to rest on your back. Rubbing soothing circles whilst also avoiding the implants peaking out from the neck of your shirt.

Your eyebrows snapped together, a frown etching itself on your mouth as you sat back up to wave her away. A fit of slight anger bubbled in the pit of your stomach.

“Seriously, Gams, I’m good. Please, you don’t need to do that-” You kept quiet as to keep yourself from choking on the hiccups lodged in your throat. Gamora brought the hand you raised to a halt, forcing you to have your eyes connect. They felt raw as your seized tears burned in your sockets and that was clear to the green woman as her stare softened, brows knitted with worry.

“I don’t want you playing the whole 'macho guy’ act, okay, Rocket’s already taken that role up plenty.” Her voice was stern as her hand was still loosely held onto your wrist, slowly pulling it down and moving to hold your hand in the two of her own. “Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s got you worked up. If you want, we can just sit here. Or if you do want to talk, I’ll be here to listen. But I can’t leave you alone like this. I don’t want you to hurt alone.”

Gamora’s last words turned melodious, holding a warmth you were beginning to crave. Looking away, you let out a sigh defeatedly as you calmed yourself enough so you could actually speak without an audible sob breaking out.

“I just- it was hard seeing Quill getting along with Yondu.” You stopped to peer over to Gamora. She nodded for you to continue so you complied. “Knowing how he treated him all the years he took him under his wing, he still loved him. Yondu was so mean, but Quill still loved him. Because he knew he loved him back in his own messed up way. I guess I’m just…jealous? Kind of?”

Gamora shifted imperceptibly in her seat, relaxing more so she could engage fully in the conversation. “Jealous?”

“N-Not in the way that you’re thinking. It just makes me wish that my Dad would’ve just turned the same leaf, if you get what I mean.”

Gamora nodded once again, although she knew you wouldn’t see as your gaze was fixated on the hand of yours that she held onto.

“I didn’t have the best relationship with my Dad. Honestly, we didn’t have a relationship at all. He made it very clear he didn’t want me around. Like I was some sort of burden that was leftover from when my Mom…choked it. God, if I saw him now I would’ve fucking blown him up the first chance I got.” You let another sigh slip out as you rubbed at your face, getting rid of the crusted tears that dried around the rims of your eyes.

Sniffing, you turned to Gamora as you felt her green hand caressing your pale one, her thumb repeatedly ghosting over your knuckles. At this, you gave her a weak smile as your breath began to waver once again.

“The guy used- he used to punch me, kick me, throw me around, day and night. God forbid if he came back from a drunk night out with his friends, there would be liquor bottles thrown at my head. Oh, one time he pushed me hard enough to go toppling down the stairs, ended up shattering my knee cap. He um- told the doctors it was a biking accident…” A harsh chuckle escaped through your gritted teeth, “He hated how I looked so much like her, my Mom. He kept saying that I had her eyes, and would hit me till they were black and blue… Those were the weeks where I couldn’t go to school, which lead to more grief.”

Through your rant, you hadn’t apprehended that Gamora had shifted to hold you against her chest, your head resting against her shoulder with the hand that was once on your back now outstretched to rub your forearm consolingly. You exhaled heavily as you listened to her steadfast heartbeat, concentrating on it so you could help tranquillize your own.

“I just wish he would’ve realised that what he was doing was wrong. But in some sick way, I think he enjoyed it. He always told me I didn’t deserve any better. That I wasn’t worth the time…And I believed him. He made me feel so weak…”

Gamora gave your arm a light squeeze before adding, “But look how strong you are now. I’m not saying you deserved any of that because you _didn’t_ , no child should experience that kind of pain. But, if it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be the powerful and confident person you are today. You’ve learnt from that pain and now you’re even stronger for it, and I am _so_ proud of you for that.”

Touched, your head had shot up to look at the woman before you. You had no clue how bad you needed to hear those words, your chest feeling somewhat lifted and relieved. Obviously talking it out hadn’t completely healed your past wounds, but it did help ease your thoughts, getting them out into the open.

A new silence had built up after Gamora’s words of comfort, the air feeling relatively uncomfortable as the seconds went on. The guilt you had previously still embedded in your chest, and the stillness wasn’t paying in your favour as the remorse caved deeper and deeper within your ribs. The lull had almost become deafening before Gamora had decided to speak up once more, the vibration of her voice sounded against your ears as you laid on her fully composed.

“You know, my 'Father’ wiped out half of my home planet, mercilessly murdered my parents and forced me into a life of following in his footsteps.” The green woman kept her regard on the screen before you both, the stars painted on the glass twinkling the more the ship floated on. “Thanos would impel me to engage in combat with my sister on the training grounds. Turned me into the infamous 'Most dangerous woman in the galaxy’ and basically ruined any chance of me having a normal childhood.”

You had sat upright but kept your leg lightly pressed against Gamora’s to keep the warmth between you both. Gamora’s hand had slid from your shoulder to rest lightly on your back once more, but this time you didn’t protest. You turned to her and met her gaze before the two of you broke out into quiet laughter.

It wasn’t the first time Gamora had told you about her life with Thanos, thus making you feel apologetic for trying to make your circumstances seem so much worse. Of course, you knew it wasn’t a competition of who had the biggest asshole of a father. That’s not Gamora’s style, but if it was a contest, she’d be the champ.

You shook your head, hanging it low as you released a toothy grin, giving your nose one last sniff. The Assassin watched in content how a smile gleamed on your features, pleased at how she managed to see you perk up a little despite not being successful in solving the initial problem.

Gamora placed a warm hand on your freckled cheek, facing you towards her as she spoke, “I just want you to know that…If you ever feel alone, don’t, because you’ve got me, and you’ve definitely got the others. I know I might not be the best at words, but I’m here to listen to whatever you have to get off of your chest.”

She held an affectionate smile as she stroked your cheek with the pad of her thumb, looking intently into your eyes. The warmth from her palm radiated your face, you subconsciously leant into her touch as your heart welled up for the second time, tears forming in the corners of your eyes in adoration.

“Thanks for that, Gams. I uh- needed it.” You let out a breathy chuckle as you still held eye contact, “You’d be a really great Mom, y'know. You’ve got those…vibes.”

The hand she held against your cheek froze momentarily, her eyes widened at the thought of being a mother. It had never really occurred to her until now. “You think so?”

“Definitely.”


End file.
